http://rjmagazine.disqus.com/enFri, 19 Apr 2013 11:21:13 -0000http://reformjudaismmag.org/Articles/index.cfm?id=3202#comment-868314086<p>I have served in the cantorate for nearly 40 years, and I truly appreciate the issue. My wife is a Jew by choice, and became so before we were married. However, she did so because she was seeking a faith at the time, and not because of our impending marriage. I never asked her to convert, and would have married her in any event (the longevity of our marriage, the same 40 years, is good evidence that I had the right of it).</p> <p>Partly because of my potential intermarriage, until the last year, I have gladly performed intermarriages, believing that Judaism is better served by welcoming people into community, rather than turning them away. However, after considering, for many years, the NJPS survey results of 1990 and 2000, I could no longer avoid the finding that, statistically speaking, intermarriages result in secularism within three generations. In addition, It has not been my experience that my act of welcome results in community affiliation of the intermarried couple. Often, I have felt like a "hired gun." Were this not the forum that it is, I would use a stronger term.</p> <p>So, with regret and mixed feelings, I no longer perform intermarriages, although, I have performed, and will continue to perform same sex weddings for Jewish couples. I mention this only to underline the fact that it is not the conservatism of advancing years motivating my decision. It is my belief that the act of performing intermarriage does not benefit or enhance the Jewish community, which I believe to be my obligation as Jewish clergy.</p> <p>That having been said, if the survey results are correct, it seems to me that we clergy should model the behavior that we wish our congregants to adopt. If our Jewish leaders are intermarried, the clear message to our youth is that there is no reason to seek out a Jewish partner, resulting in further dilution of the Jewish family in successive generations, statistically speaking.</p> <p>Moreover, the URJ most definitely has a horse in the race. The ability to participate in NFTY is at the top of the list of reasons for congregations to affiliate with the URJ. If the unspoken message from the rabbis is that meeting Jewish young people as potential mates is unimportant, then NFTY becomes far less relevant, and a struggling congregation might choose non-affiliation rather than paying MUM dues.</p> <p>To be a rabbi is a great honor, and carries with it tremendous responsibility. A rabbi sets the standard for his/her congregation. The intermarried rabbi sends an unspoken but incredibly powerful message to the young people of her/his community, and the effect of that message does not aid the Jewish community.</p> <p>One may marry whomever one wants; however, like everything else in life, there are consequences to one's decision. Why should something as important as the rabbinate be any different?</p>Michael AnatoleFri, 19 Apr 2013 11:21:13 -0000